Buy Yourself Flowers (Why You Should Plan Dates With Yourself)

You are your own main squeeze. Your relationship with yourself is the primary relationship you will have over the course of your life. People love to stress, “You must have a solid relationship with yourself to be capable of developing meaningful relationships with other other people.”And of course, they are right; you cannot pour from an empty cup. But that goes for everything else too, not just connections with other people. Your relationship with yourself informs how you tackle opportunities, handle challenges, approach work and play, and interpret the world you inhabit, because all of these things are tied to your sense of worth and self esteem. If that cup is empty, what will you be able to pour into your pursuits and interests? Your relationship with yourself is also the only one you are unequivocally guaranteed for your whole life, so you must enjoy spending time with yourself. If you can do that, you know someone will always be there to support and guide you when times are tough, and that someone is you. It means having someone to hang out with, whose company you enjoy. It means, in this big world where it’s easy to feel disconnected and alone—especially in New York—never being truly alone.

A few years ago I started buying myself flowers when I was feeling really down or something really big and exciting happened. I realized I didn’t need a guy to buy me flowers. I could go out to dinner alone. I could take walks by the river at sunset and sit in cafés and wander in bookstores. I could think of dates I’d want to go on and then just go do those things myself. And you know what happened? I got things done. I met some remarkable people. I grew exponentially. I flourished.

Self care, in the way we often talk about it, is a luxury. Spare cash for Lush bath bombs and spare time for people working 3 jobs—these are luxuries that many people don’t have. But dates don’t have to be constant, and planning them doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. The goal is simply to create an experience now and then that makes you feel refreshed, loved, and worthy. So hang out with yourself; get to know yourself really, really freaking well. Show yourself some TLC. After all, you’re the person you’re stuck with till the end!

If you’re having trouble coming up with solo date ideas, here are some suggestions:

Make Yourself a Picnic to Enjoy by the Hudson River

Sunshine.  Soft grass. View of the water. Skyline. Benches. Need I say more?

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.com

Take a Candlelit Bubble Bath

This is easier if you’re in an apartment, since dorms don’t allow incendiary objects. The Kmart at Astor Place has a selection of cheap candles. You can also find some pretty reasonable ones at Michaels, or if you’re feeling a tad more extravagant, check out the yummy smells at one the many Ricky’s NYC stores. If you’re in a dorm, the right playlist will soothe your ears and help create the mood.

Smell the Flowers… Or Perfume
Speaking of smells, here’s one of my favorite pick-me-ups for when I’m down. Grab some fresh coffee beans (not required, but they add a nice touch), and head to Sephora. Indulge in smelling all the glorious scents, and take a whiff of the coffee beans between smells to clear your olfactory palate.

Visit the Botanical Garden at Prospect Heights

Admission is typically $15, but if you bring your ID it’s only $8 for students. The Brooklyn Botanic Garden website has a number of resources and information on events and activities, including a list of what is currently in bloom: https://www.bbg.org/bloom

https://www.nycgo.com/

https://www.nycgo.com/

Check Out a Museum

When you’re by yourself, you can stay for as long as you want or leave as soon as your feet get tired. No need to try and impress anyone with interpretations of artwork. Oh, and for students, they’re nearly all free. Hello Whitney, MoMA, and Met, to name a few.

http://whitney.org/

http://whitney.org/

Take in a Literary Reading

There are countless places in NYC to hear writers share their work. Check out KGB Bar in the East Village for a reading! Monday is poetry night, and if fiction is more your speed, stop in on a Sunday. See you there!

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.co

By Sofia Lerner

Sofia Lerner is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English as a senior at NYU. Passionate about literature, dance, and wellness, Sofia aspires to help the arts thrive and help others pursue healthy lifestyles. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.


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