Archive for the ‘onLove’ Category

Philautia

Saturday, November 11th, 2017
Courtesy: Sublime360

Courtesy: Sublime360

I have often been told that I don’t love myself enough to walk away from things that generate negativity: things meaning people – people mostly harmful to my mental health. Seldom do advisors forget the phrase, “Love yourself.” But how does one love herself when she is repeatedly being told to love others and be respectful of them as soon as she walks on two feet instead of four. Her first teenage heartbreak and she suddenly hears the phrase, “fall in love with yourself first,” the same one in different voices.

Falling in love with oneself isn’t easy. You know your own flaws and imperfections and to give a damaged human being that kind of unconditional love requires a lot of patience and dedication; it requires trust.

We often don’t trust ourselves with a lot of things. I don’t trust that I can ever get an A in my statistics class. I think I am incapable of achieving that score. And if I think I am incapable, I will never be capable. I don’t necessarily trust myself to be the most satisfied human being and hence I will simply never be one.

There is no hard learned formula for falling in love, sometimes you might not even realize but you may have fallen head over heels with someone already. But falling in love with yourself requires a guidebook; a guidebook with one simple rule that quite bluntly states, “In order to love yourself, you must behave in ways that you admire (Irving Yalom).”

Courtesy: Tiny Buddha

Courtesy: Tiny Buddha

 

 

Everyone visualises an ideal self and the closer you are to your ideal self, the more likely you are to appreciate yourself. My ideal self is an extremely selfless human being: a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 but I might only be 7 as of yet. And in order for me to love myself in the purest form, I have to strive to be the 10.

Everywhere everyone around you is searching for this ideal self, not in themselves but in others. Often when we don’t love ourselves enough, we go looking for someone else to love us and show us our best selves. Often we come across people hoping they would fill up the void in our lives. And this very void that we are so desperate to fill, makes us feel vulnerable and naked.

Love for me is beyond any measure of lust or beauty. Love is what comforts you just by the thought of it. There is love in friendship and there is love in honesty. However, the brutality of love is that it ruins you. But philautia (self love) unlike any other kind of love, always uplifts you.

I have loved and lost. And I feel so scared that I’m never going to feel that way again. I am relentlessly looking for love while I’m also subconsciously waiting for it to knock on my door as a surprise.

But instead of waiting in distress, it is time I provide myself with what I am desperately searching for.

As college students we almost always fall prey to conversations that involve the “other kids” talking about the “other kids” they are dating. You suddenly become the “other” when you feel alienated. You suddenly become the “other” when everyone around you is either falling in or out of love. The college environment exerts a certain pressure on you where you feel compelled to give in to what everyone else seems to be doing. If anything, you resort to Tinder or Bumble.

So stop dating that guy who abused you. Stop looking for love on websites where commitment phobics look for hook up buddies. Stop hanging around with someone who makes you his side chick.

Identify the things you love about him. List it on a sticky note. Hang it on your mirror. This will remind you that these are the qualities you adore. These are the things that you should train yourself to excel in.

When you stop looking for them in others, you will start looking for them inside you. There is no harm in being old school and waiting for love to come to you instead of trying to find it at a bar or club. Halt. Don’t rush.

We have a long way to go, many paths of life are yet to be discovered so live on with the hope of every path taking you to a better destination each time. We have big dreams, big enough to scare us. But only with belief and trust, will these dreams become realities.

 

By Sushmita Roy

Sushmita Roy is a Campus Clipper intern and a junior at NYU majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Her research interests includes immigration, human interest stories and social psychology. When she’s not studying, Sushmita enjoys catching up with friends, binge watching TV shows and cooking for anyone and everyone. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

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Philia

Monday, October 23rd, 2017
Courtesy: Independent

Courtesy: Independent

“I prayed for the city to be cleared of people, for the gift of being alone,  a-l-o-n-e: which is the one New Yorker prayer that rarely gets lost or delayed in channels, and in no time at all, everything I touched turned to solid loneliness.” J.D. Salinger

New York can be though on you but NYU could be a lot tougher. If you come from anywhere around Asia or the countryside, you would know that nosy neighbors are bats that gained bad reputation arising from the folklore that ties them to vampires and Dracula. In terms of usefulness, bats are prime agents of pollination and seed dispersal. Often devalued, most bats are not blood sucking creatures but a friend to the mankind: killing insects those of whom are threats.

Nosy neighbours are skilled at dispersing gossip. But drifting away from the reputation of gossipy housewives in their mid-forties, neighbors drop your kids, bring you food, help you when you are locked out or when you run out of sugar.

In New York, you don’t speak to your neighbors, it’s an unspoken ground rule that everyone seems to abide by. You don’t greet them. You don’t know them. It isn’t uncommon to live in your dorm room without speaking to your suite mates for days.

Elevators give you stress and phones without signals are awkward getaways. More than anywhere in the world, New York is where you most need a friend.

My classmate, Aerin Reed comes from a small town known as Eastern Connecticut where the only revolutionary thing that has happened in the last few years is the renovation of the Eastern Village Store. Moms and gossips and hitting deer accidentally are as much a part of her childhood vicinity as are bagels, frowns and subway horrors in New York.

“My town has a thousand people more than NYU’s graduating class,” Reed said while describing her transition from a traditional small town to the city that is overly crowded even on Sundays.

Unlike her friends and classmates, Reed never dreamed of studying in a traditional campus setting, which made NYU one of her first choices. “I remember walking down the road after welcome week and thinking I do not know anyone on the street,” quite unlike the million recognizable faces she would encounter while driving a car in the part of the world which she calls “home.”

At this exact moment what she would have missed is a friend. At this exact moment she needed the kind of love Greeks call “philia.”

Philia was first used by the Greek philosopher Aristotle, who defined it as brotherly love or love shared by friends. The English language does not have a separate word for what Aristotle believed to be unconditional and pure i.e. “with good reason,” so we shall do what we always do: follow the path lead by Greeks.

New York Times columnist Frank Bruni recently wrote a column titled, “The Real Campus Scourge,” which discusses the overwhelming theme of loneliness in a campus setting. “In a survey of nearly 28,000 students on 51 campuses by the American College Health Association last year, more than 60 percent said that they had “felt very lonely” in the previous 12 months. Nearly 30 percent said that they had felt that way in the previous two weeks,” he wrote. All these folks deprived of Philia.

In New York, everything is always on the extreme as is this feeling of loneliness. No amount of Rainbow themed Starbucks or insta worthy cookie doughs can fill the void that only friendship can fill. But my dearest, you are not alone in this. New York has that power over you but you have something that the city lacks: the option to halt, start over and rebuild.

Text your freshman year roommate.

Don’t let Netflix govern your life.

Talk to the person sitting right next to you, chances are she feels the same way.

Log off Instagram.

Remember, loneliness is a feeling that is temporary. It is not a lifestyle.

Don’t just make acquaintances. Get to know them. Turn them into your friends.

Most of all, remember to let go of whatever is holding you back: fear, shyness, insecurity, rationale, over possessive boyfriend and then you will learn to live. You need a friend and so does the person next to you. All you have to do is smile.

By Sushmita Roy

Sushmita Roy is a Campus Clipper intern and a junior at NYU majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Her research interests includes immigration, human interest stories and social psychology. When she’s not studying, Sushmita enjoys catching up with friends, binge watching TV shows and cooking for anyone and everyone. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

 

 

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New York, I love you

Monday, October 9th, 2017

“I know my New York City by heart,” she screamed over the phone; sliding her fingers between her black curls with a force that lead me to believe, she could at any moment, rip them apart. Rest assured, she didn’t hurt herself at any point but stood up, took deep breaths and walked towards the observation deck. I wouldn’t have done otherwise.

She may be gazing at the ripples or rejoicing at the sight of Staten Island from afar, breathing in the silence of the chaos. Whatever she may have chosen, wherever she was headed, her sudden declaration of authority, self-declaration of possession of the city, made me wonder how much of it was mine if all of it weren’t hers.

And then I remembered that each person makes her own New York. The 70,000 passengers that the Staten Island Ferry carries everyday make their own New York. The 60 million tourists that come flocking into the city live and relive the fantasy that is New York. And no matter how different your New York is from mine, we are all united, in the exact moment when someone utters the word, “New Yorker.”

 

Onlookers gaze at the skyline

Onlookers gaze at the skyline

I have been living in Manhattan for about three years now but had never been able to get myself to take the Staten Island ferry – the only form of free transportation in New York that runs around the clock – or explore even a little bit of Staten Island, the “forgotten borough.” But when I did, there was nothing like coming back home, to my Manhattan.

I am quite a frequent traveller and the same annoying economy class passenger you might encounter every now and then, who continues to fight for her right to occupy the window seat, even before standing in line for the check-in counter.

Yet, I had never gotten weary of staring out of the window, waiting for New York to approach me, or maybe reject me. With New York, you never know, you can never be sure. But today the sight I witnessed, I had never seen before.

Traveling in an airplane or in a subway is quite unlike traveling in the Staten Island Ferry: the struggle, the wars, the history, you see all of it looming over the sea. And then you see the Liberty. “It is gorgeous,” says the middle aged-woman from Texas.

It indeed is, for her and for thousands of tourists like her who visit everyday quite easily seduced and compelled by the city’s charisma. For immigrants like me, it is what New York is: a symbol of hope: an open invitation that reminds me that I can mold it, make it my own.

 

Manhattan Skyline from the Ferry

Manhattan Skyline from the Ferry

I have never had a bad narrative to offer after moving to New York. I have been catcalled, yes. I have had mice problem in my house, yes. I have waited for the subway for more than 20 minutes, yes. I avoid Times Square, yes. I think I should move to LA, get a car and a big house, yes. But does that ever make me love New York any less? NO. “It’s a bitter sweet love affair,” my classmate had said.

And the fact that she called it an affair instead of a melancholy one-sided love story, tells me she knew the city loved her back. Just like I do and just like the millions of others who come to the city and engage in an ever lasting love affair.

By Sushmita Roy

Sushmita Roy is a Campus Clipper intern and a junior at NYU majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Her research interests includes immigration, human interest stories and social psychology. When she’s not studying, Sushmita enjoys catching up with friends, binge watching TV shows and cooking for anyone and everyone. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

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Transition to Intentional Community

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

As a high school senior, I really didn’t know what I was doing when it came to college. The year was 2012, I was seventeen, and I still had no clue which college to attend. I procrastinated up to the line, until it was National College Decision Day and I was forced to finally choose. Originally planning to attend college in Los Angeles, I settled on Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, thousands of miles from my home in California. I had visited Calvin a month earlier, in April, and toured the newest dorm, named Van Reken after one of the many Dutch alumni who sponsor Calvin. My mom had discovered a living-learning floor for Honors students and, being an overachiever in her college days, encouraged me to apply.

By June, I dragged myself onto the Calvin website to fill out the Honors floor application. However, a description of another floor in the same building caught my attention. Called Grassroots, the floor was dedicated to exploring multiculturalism and combating racism. Every two weeks, students were required to attend a one-credit Contextual Diversity class, which investigated racism in modern America. Forget the Honors floor; I knew I had to apply.

My parents had become involved in anti-racism work before I was born. They were the area directors for Young Life, a Christian program for students, in Kalamazoo, Michigan, for eight years. My dad had become involved in diversity trainings around the time when my parents married, and as a result, tried to integrate the largely white youth groups in suburban Kalamazoo with the largely black youth groups in other parts of the city. He was met with opposition, so, frustrated, my parents decided to relocate to Sacramento, California.

My parents’ vision was to form a multicultural community, with a church at its center, that fostered sharing life and learning from each other. They brought together groups of people that normally would never interact. And it was harder than they could have imagined. There was conflict, there was fallout, there was pain. But there was also compassion, and mutual benefit, and true friendship.

It was in this environment that I was raised. I had seen the heartbreak, but I had also seen raw connection that resulted in rich learning. By the time I was applying to live on intentional living-learning communities in college, I was hungry for that type of interaction. Even as a seventeen-year-old, I knew I wanted to engage in racial justice work.

Several months later, I moved onto Grassroots as a freshman. The floor was was the catalyst for not only my interests, but also who I was as a person. I was launched into community, and I had no clue what I was getting myself into: late-night talks about race theory, arguments, and the formation of lasting friendships. I was terribly uncomfortable, I learned a lot, it was the best and hardest two years of my life.

2nd VR women

The women of Grassroots during a dorm banquet.

Grassroots was a crucial step for me on a journey I hope to continue to take.

By Anna Lindner


Anna is a Campus Clipper intern and a first-year student in NYU’s Media, Culture, and Communication program. Her research interests include critical race and gender theory and their resultant intersectionality. When she’s not studying, Anna enjoys visiting friends, catching up on TV shows, and lifting weights. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

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Encouraging Positive Talk and Confidence in Your Friend Group

Sunday, July 23rd, 2017

“Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” There’s been a fair amount of research on how people are affected by their environments, and that largely means how they’re affected by the people with whom they interact. Have you ever noticed a friend of yours start using a phrase you use? Have you picked up certain habits from your friends? You’ll probably be hyper-aware of it after reading this! Some even argue that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Much of what I’ve read on this subject warns about the influence of toxic people and emotional vampires, like this cautionary article from https://medium.com. A lot of these self-help articles advise readers to rid themselves of friends and acquaintances who just aren’t feeding their lives in a positive way. I’m not disputing that advice. Cutting ties with draining people is important for your overall wellbeing. But if you’re influenced by the people around you, there’s also a lot you can do in turn to be a positive influence on them—and ultimately that’s beneficial for everyone.

https://twitter.com/mathsnsw

https://twitter.com/mathsnsw

Negativity doesn’t just come in the form of explicit rudeness or friends who deliberately put you down. Some of our most supportive, funny, valuable friends can unintentionally and indirectly propagate feelings of self-criticism and negativity by the way they talk to and about themselves. Author Mark Manson writes a lot about how we measure worth. Take this article for instance (it’s a short read): https://markmanson.net/how-we-judge-others. His logic is that the way we judge others is also how we judge ourselves. In his words, the yardstick by which we measure our own worth is also the yardstick by which we measure the worth of others. Often we aren’t conscious of how exactly we measure worth, but Manson points out that we can choose to be conscious, and from there we can choose our yardsticks. So if you obsess over your grades, chances are you also judge your friends by how high their GPAs are. If you have a friend who is constantly worrying about her appearance, you can deduce that her primary measuring stick is attractiveness. Most likely without meaning to, that friend then judges other people by their attractiveness. By “judging,” I mean ascribing worth or value.

https://me.me/

https://me.me/

These behaviors can wear on us. If someone close to you obsesses over their physique and level of fitness, it’s hard not to wonder how they view and judge your body too. I urge you to point our negative behaviors that you see in your friends and encourage them to be kinder to themselves. For example, I used to have a hard time taking compliments; I always felt like accepting them meant I was cocky. In response, I would make self-deprecating comments, finding faults in myself to counteract anything positive. Eventually, when I would make these comments one of my friends started scolding me, “Don’t be self-deprecating.” And it wasn’t a playful admonishment either. There was a bit of annoyance and a real sense of chastisement in her tone. I didn’t take offense. On the contrary, her criticism of my own self-criticism brought me to see my comments about myself in a more accurate light: not as politeness, but as an unhealthy habit. I learned to catch myself in those thought patterns, and I learned to accept compliments. And you know what? Compliments feel good! That’s how they’re supposed to feel!

So when you see your friend poking their stomach and saying they feel fat, ask them, “What’s something you like about your body?” When your friend does poorly on a test and says they are stupid, tell them, “You know, you’re really good at ______. Be an example; be gentle with yourself and gentle with your friends. Compliment them, and accept their compliments graciously too. If you admire something, say so. When you’re proud of them, show it. It’s often easier to hold on to the negatives, but you have the power to highlight the positives. If what Business Insider says is true—that you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with—then your positivity has the power to make them more positive. And in the end, that positive energy will feed you too.

 

https://www.theworkher.com

https://www.theworkher.com

By Sofia Lerner


Sofia Lerner is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English as a senior at NYU. Passionate about literature, dance, and wellness, Sofia aspires to help the arts thrive and help others pursue healthy lifestyles. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The Importance of Friendship

Wednesday, July 19th, 2017
Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

 

Last September when my friend Maghan walked into my new apartment for the first time, tears welled up in her eyes. “It’s so lonely,” she said, overwhelmed by the pure adultness of the empty white walls and Ikea furniture. Annoyed and uncomprehending, I pushed her through the remaining 24 feet of the apartment to the window where my bed sat. “It’s not lonely. It’s perfect. And look I even have a real New York City fire escape.”

Today though, I know what she means. Summer in New York is much different than the school year. The city itself seems to sweat on even the mildest of days, the streets are crawling with tourists who wander aimlessly into your path, and all traces of college life disappear. As I sit on my real New York City fire escape, the people below are unfamiliar and my thoughts drift to faces I do know, some who are in New York and some who are not, some who I’ve seen recently and some who I haven’t. Regardless of distance and time, real life isolates me on this fire escape and loneliness creeps in as jobs, bills, and adult responsibility seem to push everyone separate ways. I feel like it didn’t used to be this way. Summers between high school were filled with constant contact and group messages, day plans and night plans and weekend plans, part time jobs and the comfort of your family home at the end of the day. Maybe I wasn’t quite prepared to be one of 8.5 million people living and working in New York City this summer.

Academic and professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen says in her book You’re the Only One I Can Tell, “Knowing that somewhere in the world there is someone who cares what you wore, an insignificant detail of your life that would seem unimportant to anyone else, makes you feel more connected to that person and less alone in the world.” This small action of sharing is capable of piercing distance and time, wiping out loneliness, and reinstating the comfort of someone else’s joys and sorrows.

The other night, my best friend and I met up with a classmate we hadn’t seen since school got out in May. During the school year, the three of us talked often and saw each other daily in class, but it had been two months since we’d all been in the same room. The conversation that night was a breath of fresh air, air that you can’t get in a city sitting alone in your room. Air that might even be hard to find in the countryside. Each breath carried new laughter and love, new stories to be shared, new heartbreaks to be healed, new plans to be made as we all felt a sense of relief from the summer’s overbearing humidity. There is nothing better in the world than long conversations that flow endlessly and seamlessly. Even as we grow up, even as we drift apart, even as we get heavy work schedules and full time jobs, even as new people in our lives come and go, it will always be hard to feel completely alone if you can make the effort to keep up friendships and conversations.

A relationship that can withstand crowds of people, state or country borders, and days and weeks of not seeing each other is a strong one. Slowly I am learning that the bond is there even if they are physically not. So next time I find myself sitting on my fire escape, reminiscing the days when making friends was more important than making money and building my resume, I’ll remind myself that although there might be a thousand people between me and the next familiar face, the familiar face is the one that matters.


By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. Check out her Instagram for more witty and heartfelt content on her life. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 


 

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College Hookup Culture

Thursday, July 13th, 2017

   

My Profile Picture on Tinder for a Small While

My Profile Picture on Tinder for a Small While

    College hookup culture is weird, sometimes rewarding, and occasionally sketchy. Generally speaking, hookups for single people develop in two primary ways: either through a platform for meeting other single people or through circumstance. In terms of platforms, I speak digitally of apps like Tinder and non-digitally of the bar, club, and party scenes. Of course, a great many people who use these platforms are not looking for prospective romantic escapades. However, a great many also use these platforms in order to have hookups or long-term relationships. And then, there are people like me who unwittingly fall victim to “dating” platforms and/or circumstance. In any case, I will avoid speaking on this topic too specifically, rather opting to speak in broader terms, as this is a vast and personal subject.

    Since move-in day of college, I developed a number of casual relationships with people I knew circumstantially. Whether these were people from my hall or a shared class or whatever else is of no real importance. Instead, what is important is that I had non-committal relations with people whom I could not avoid once one of us had chosen to discontinue the relations. I did not realize the degree of obsession that was brought out in some people with whom I stopped hooking up. While in certain cases, casual relationships ended calmly, I have had my fair share of being yelled at and pleaded with by past partners. The valuable lesson I took out of these experiences was that if I did not see potential for transforming a non-committed relationship into a committed one, then I should not have entered the relationship from the start. It appeared that most of my hookups were vacuous and led to more awkward headaches then they were worth.

    Then there was going to bars, clubs, and parties whereupon many people I know found romantic interests and one-time hookups. Since I can only point to a few occasions of romantic encounters out of personal experience, I instead will explain the experiences of people I know who are more well-versed in this culture. For instance, I have one friend who would bar hop until they found someone who would be interested in a one-night frolic and then would never contact them again. Unlike me, this friend is completely content with this type of love life since they are comfortable in this mode of romance. Still, I have another friend who gave up dating entirely after becoming so disenchanted with the emotional volatility of the relationships he formed with people he met at parties and clubs. It is hard to tell if one should participate in hookup culture, as the results of college hookup culture are often unexpected. Finding out whether hookup culture is worth it often comes down to discovering personal preferences via trial and error.

    As for Tinder, I made an account for networking with photographers but soon became interested in its dating potential after finding that Tinder eliminates many of the problems I had with running into spurned lovers and provides clarity as to the motivations of its users. To even use Tinder in the first place is most likely an indication that an individual is seeking a romantic relationship, whether it be serious or not serious. Plus, it was quite easy to manufacture an appealing way of constructing the aesthetic of my Tinder profile and messaging other users. Beyond that, dating through Tinder is pretty similar to other forms of dating, except that Tinder dates are typically being more straightforward than other types. Quite truthfully, after a while, Tinder became vacuous too. After a certain point, I had too many bizarre dates with bizarre people to the point where I wanted something more long-term. That is when I found my girlfriend on Tinder. And I have been happily committed ever since. Funny enough, even though I have discontinued my personal use of Tinder, I advise a good many friends on how to construct stellar Tinder profiles.

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.  

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Academic Relationships

Thursday, July 13th, 2017
flag

NYU Flag Outside of the Lipton Residential Hall

It's good to have friends to carry you through finals

It’s good to have friends to carry you through finals

            Beyond having a primary friend group, cultivating ancillary relationships is beneficial for one’s time in college and outside of it. Of large importance is the relationship one shares with peers and professors within shared academic contexts. From a networking standpoint, the connections made with professors and other students from one’s classes can hold professional significance in the future. From a more present-oriented perspective, those connections can be the difference between one doing poorly in their classes and one succeeding.

            Even though a student can be incredibly gifted academically, if they do not know how to be likeable in the eyes of their professors, then they may find that their classes are more difficult than they need to be and that their career prospects might be more restricted. The proverb, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” proves especially true regarding having healthy relationships with professors. I remember in my first semester at NYU having a professor whom I strongly disliked. The professor did not allow for open discussion, opting instead to filter every discussion through themselves and to disregard students with whom they disagreed. It seemed that they were also very openly critical in papers and class discussions about any student who questioned this system. Despite disliking that professor, I never made it readily apparent that I felt this way. By the end of the semester, the professor loved me because I showed them kindness and attentiveness, while other students had given up on the class.  This same professor told me that if I would ever need a letter of recommendation, I should not hesitate to ask. In this way, I made myself less of a target for harsh grading and allowed professor’s status to serve to my benefit. The same rule of kindness and attentiveness can apply to teachers one genuinely likes (most of my professors at NYU), the only difference being that the relationship in these cases is easier and more genuine. 

            As for peers, it is not necessary to be friends with them much outside of the academic context to still reap the benefits of an academic relationship. Sure, forming studying groups can be especially helpful for reviewing material and covering gaps in knowledge before exams, but there are greater benefits to having friends in class. For core classes, many students are not as interested in the subject matter as much as they will be when they take more self-directed, specialized courses later in their academic career. Core classes provide a helpful platform for students to network with students from a broader range of interests than specialized courses do, since every student usually must complete certain core requirements to complete their major. It is then possible under such circumstances that a student may find themselves in a class with both science and humanities majors. By forming symbiotic in-class relationships with other students possessing diverse interests, one may find connections that could inevitably benefit them outside of college, when their career could benefit from the help of someone from a different discipline entirely. For instance, a computer science major could benefit from the help of someone in finance when calculating the costs for a tech startup down the road. Who knows, some of the friends one may find in such classes could also develop into relationships beyond the academic sphere.

            For more specialized courses, one may use such courses as grounds for honing their craft with other like-minded individuals. In my case, I have been taking workshop classes in creative writing to enhance my poetry. In this environment, I have used classroom discussions as grounds to both learn how to enhance my art and provide new insight on the work of others. In the future, some of the people with whom I shared such classes could help me in developing and editing my future work. What’s more, those same people could become partners in collaborative artistic projects. Yet, if I never made the effort to reach out to my peers, I would not have the same opportunities that I have now.  

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Buy Yourself Flowers (Why You Should Plan Dates With Yourself)

Saturday, July 8th, 2017

You are your own main squeeze. Your relationship with yourself is the primary relationship you will have over the course of your life. People love to stress, “You must have a solid relationship with yourself to be capable of developing meaningful relationships with other other people.”And of course, they are right; you cannot pour from an empty cup. But that goes for everything else too, not just connections with other people. Your relationship with yourself informs how you tackle opportunities, handle challenges, approach work and play, and interpret the world you inhabit, because all of these things are tied to your sense of worth and self esteem. If that cup is empty, what will you be able to pour into your pursuits and interests? Your relationship with yourself is also the only one you are unequivocally guaranteed for your whole life, so you must enjoy spending time with yourself. If you can do that, you know someone will always be there to support and guide you when times are tough, and that someone is you. It means having someone to hang out with, whose company you enjoy. It means, in this big world where it’s easy to feel disconnected and alone—especially in New York—never being truly alone.

A few years ago I started buying myself flowers when I was feeling really down or something really big and exciting happened. I realized I didn’t need a guy to buy me flowers. I could go out to dinner alone. I could take walks by the river at sunset and sit in cafés and wander in bookstores. I could think of dates I’d want to go on and then just go do those things myself. And you know what happened? I got things done. I met some remarkable people. I grew exponentially. I flourished.

Self care, in the way we often talk about it, is a luxury. Spare cash for Lush bath bombs and spare time for people working 3 jobs—these are luxuries that many people don’t have. But dates don’t have to be constant, and planning them doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. The goal is simply to create an experience now and then that makes you feel refreshed, loved, and worthy. So hang out with yourself; get to know yourself really, really freaking well. Show yourself some TLC. After all, you’re the person you’re stuck with till the end!

If you’re having trouble coming up with solo date ideas, here are some suggestions:

Make Yourself a Picnic to Enjoy by the Hudson River

Sunshine.  Soft grass. View of the water. Skyline. Benches. Need I say more?

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.com

Take a Candlelit Bubble Bath

This is easier if you’re in an apartment, since dorms don’t allow incendiary objects. The Kmart at Astor Place has a selection of cheap candles. You can also find some pretty reasonable ones at Michaels, or if you’re feeling a tad more extravagant, check out the yummy smells at one the many Ricky’s NYC stores. If you’re in a dorm, the right playlist will soothe your ears and help create the mood.

Smell the Flowers… Or Perfume
Speaking of smells, here’s one of my favorite pick-me-ups for when I’m down. Grab some fresh coffee beans (not required, but they add a nice touch), and head to Sephora. Indulge in smelling all the glorious scents, and take a whiff of the coffee beans between smells to clear your olfactory palate.

Visit the Botanical Garden at Prospect Heights

Admission is typically $15, but if you bring your ID it’s only $8 for students. The Brooklyn Botanic Garden website has a number of resources and information on events and activities, including a list of what is currently in bloom: https://www.bbg.org/bloom

https://www.nycgo.com/

https://www.nycgo.com/

Check Out a Museum

When you’re by yourself, you can stay for as long as you want or leave as soon as your feet get tired. No need to try and impress anyone with interpretations of artwork. Oh, and for students, they’re nearly all free. Hello Whitney, MoMA, and Met, to name a few.

http://whitney.org/

http://whitney.org/

Take in a Literary Reading

There are countless places in NYC to hear writers share their work. Check out KGB Bar in the East Village for a reading! Monday is poetry night, and if fiction is more your speed, stop in on a Sunday. See you there!

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.co

By Sofia Lerner

Sofia Lerner is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English as a senior at NYU. Passionate about literature, dance, and wellness, Sofia aspires to help the arts thrive and help others pursue healthy lifestyles. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.


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Finding Your People

Saturday, July 8th, 2017

 

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

College undoubtedly brings change. Life before college is largely different from life in higher education.  Post-secondary education brings a new set of challenges that provide opportunity for personal growth and emergence into the adult world. Though many challenges exist for the incoming college student, my primary focus is the examination of relationships in college, as I have a great deal of experience in this area. And while I cannot speak to the experiences of all students in college, I do know that my account of navigating relationships during my first year at NYU can provide useful reference for any college student.

Before I went to New York City for college, I lived in a place called Snellville, Georgia. Growing up in Georgia, I had a hard time finding friends with whom I could have meaningful conversations. Most of the friends I made in Georgia were formed more out of circumstance than choice, since I was more concerned about fitting in socially than finding friends that would help me develop as a person. As a result, I had a lot of different friends before college, but very few seemed to excite and invigorate in the way I desired.

By contrast, the friends I made after moving to New York City are some of the most interesting and special people I have met in my entire life. While they are all different from me in some ways, all my closest friends in New York City have a common passion for taking advantage of the opportunities life offers and an eagerness to delve beyond surface-level conversations. How did I find these people? I simply made the decision to choose my friends based on who excited me, as opposed to letting friendships develop merely out of coincidence. Whenever I met someone who excited me, I did everything in my power to develop a friendship with them.  Still, sometimes, the ones who excited me were also the ones who intimidated me. It took some courage to approach and pursue friendships with people who intimidated me, but the people who intimidated me were intimidating because they possessed something that I did not have or understand. To access the immense value of such people, I dedicated myself to not let fear get in the way of forming life-changing friendships.

To solidify the friendships I desired, I made sure to show a genuine interest in those whom I wanted to know more closely. I took time out of my schedule to adventure the city with newfound friends and let them know why they mattered to me. In doing so, I showed them why I should matter in their lives, as my investment in them indicated that I could be there in whatever supportive capacity they may need in the future. So, as I let new friends into my life, I spoke into their lives, representing my honest self, since I did not want to make friends with those who did not accept me for who I am.

To solidify such friendships, I had to make emotional room for my friends to influence my life. Indeed, it is quite a scary thing to be so emotionally vulnerable to other people.  In some cases, a few people with whom I shared my vulnerabilities used those vulnerabilities to hurt me later down the road.  However, such negative experiences should not dampen the pursuit of deep and honest communication with others. Rather, the negative experiences were a means to inform me of the signs that indicate a disloyal friend.

At the end of the day, I know that I’m not perfect. I need other people around me to open my eyes to different perspectives about the world, and my place in it. Every person is limited in their capacity to understand life. Yet, by sharing friendships with tremendous people, one can get a glimpse into a larger world of possibility and have support through times of hardship. After finding my closest friends, my squad, I noticed that an incredible burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Before finding my people, college frightened me. The start of college marked the first time in my life that I had to independently endure responsibility. After creating meaningful friendships though, I have taken immense comfort in knowing that I have a family in college with whom I can experience anything and find encouragement.

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

 

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