betrayal makes the heart fragile
handle yourself with care”
The five love languages, as created by Dr. Gary Chapman, describe the different ways that people give and respond to emotional love. Of course, the idea behind understanding the different love languages is to create a lasting and truly happy marriage. However, this can also be tied strongly to all of our relationships, as well as the one we have with ourselves.
The first of the love languages is Words of Affirmation. This language includes using verbal compliments and terms of gratitude as ways to communicate our love. Using words of affirmation is a great way to show our appreciation for those we care about.
Quality Time is the next love language. It is important to take time for each other, to bond and appreciate each other’s company. When it comes to self love, it is just as important to take time for yourself and treat yourself with kindness and care, and to truly understand how you are feeling.The importance here, especially in today’s generation, is to not spend this time watching TV or browsing Facebook. Instead, partake in an activity that allows you to think and reflect on your feelings, thought processes, goals, aspirations, etc.
Next is Gifting. This is the idea of using some sort of gift, whether it costs money or not, to show someone that you have been thinking of them. Someone who primarily speaks this love language will use and appreciate gift giving as an expression of love.
The Acts of Service love language goes hand in hand with the saying “actions speak louder than words.” If someone’s primary love language is Acts of Service they will appreciate someone cooking them dinner, helping them with work that has been stressing them out, cleaning for them, or running errands for them.
The last love language is Physical Touch. The people that predominantly speak this language are those who we may recognize as “touchy feely”. Without physical touch these people don’t feel the same connection, compassion, or overall love.
I took Chapman’s online quiz to find out my top love language. Here are my results:
In a relationship, quality time is the most important for me. This means I appreciate someone’s undivided attention and spending uninterrupted time with another to deepen the connection between us. Now, when it comes to self love, this means I appreciate spending time alone doing activities that I enjoy and that help me feel happy and refreshed.
So, how can I feed my most prominent love language, thereby improving my sense of self-love and save money while doing it? Campus Clipper, of course! In the coming weeks I plan to use my Campus Clipper coupon booklet to get a student discount on a pedicure. Getting a pedicure will be a great way for me to focus on myself, clear my mind, relax, and will leave me feeling refreshed!
I spoke to an FIT student, Jordan Shramek, who also took the Love Language quiz, and found out that her primary love language is Quality Time as well! Here are Jordan’s full results:
Jordan and I share the primary love language of Quality Time, and while I was speaking with her, she told me that she also loves to get her nails done in order to give herself some love. Getting her nails done and visiting Newport Mall for shopping on a regular basis are important to Jordan, allowing her to rejuvenate and ensure that she is giving herself the love she deserves. I believe that it is important for those of us with a primary love language of Quality Time to frequently take time to ourselves to simply do what we enjoy most in order to really feel great, and Jordan agreed with me on this.
I suggest you also take Chapman’s test to learn your primary love languages. This will help you understand how you need to be cared for in your relationships with others and how you can truly care for yourself.
By Chanelle Surphlis
Chanelle Surphlis is a Campus Clipper publishing intern, who is graduating from FIT this May. Passionate about giving back and pursuing volunteer opportunities, Chanelle aspires to work for a fashion or beauty company that includes philanthropy in its core values. If you like Chanelle’s writing, check out her blogs here and here. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.