Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Philautia

Saturday, November 11th, 2017
Courtesy: Sublime360

Courtesy: Sublime360

I have often been told that I don’t love myself enough to walk away from things that generate negativity: things meaning people – people mostly harmful to my mental health. Seldom do advisors forget the phrase, “Love yourself.” But how does one love herself when she is repeatedly being told to love others and be respectful of them as soon as she walks on two feet instead of four. Her first teenage heartbreak and she suddenly hears the phrase, “fall in love with yourself first,” the same one in different voices.

Falling in love with oneself isn’t easy. You know your own flaws and imperfections and to give a damaged human being that kind of unconditional love requires a lot of patience and dedication; it requires trust.

We often don’t trust ourselves with a lot of things. I don’t trust that I can ever get an A in my statistics class. I think I am incapable of achieving that score. And if I think I am incapable, I will never be capable. I don’t necessarily trust myself to be the most satisfied human being and hence I will simply never be one.

There is no hard learned formula for falling in love, sometimes you might not even realize but you may have fallen head over heels with someone already. But falling in love with yourself requires a guidebook; a guidebook with one simple rule that quite bluntly states, “In order to love yourself, you must behave in ways that you admire (Irving Yalom).”

Courtesy: Tiny Buddha

Courtesy: Tiny Buddha

 

 

Everyone visualises an ideal self and the closer you are to your ideal self, the more likely you are to appreciate yourself. My ideal self is an extremely selfless human being: a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 but I might only be 7 as of yet. And in order for me to love myself in the purest form, I have to strive to be the 10.

Everywhere everyone around you is searching for this ideal self, not in themselves but in others. Often when we don’t love ourselves enough, we go looking for someone else to love us and show us our best selves. Often we come across people hoping they would fill up the void in our lives. And this very void that we are so desperate to fill, makes us feel vulnerable and naked.

Love for me is beyond any measure of lust or beauty. Love is what comforts you just by the thought of it. There is love in friendship and there is love in honesty. However, the brutality of love is that it ruins you. But philautia (self love) unlike any other kind of love, always uplifts you.

I have loved and lost. And I feel so scared that I’m never going to feel that way again. I am relentlessly looking for love while I’m also subconsciously waiting for it to knock on my door as a surprise.

But instead of waiting in distress, it is time I provide myself with what I am desperately searching for.

As college students we almost always fall prey to conversations that involve the “other kids” talking about the “other kids” they are dating. You suddenly become the “other” when you feel alienated. You suddenly become the “other” when everyone around you is either falling in or out of love. The college environment exerts a certain pressure on you where you feel compelled to give in to what everyone else seems to be doing. If anything, you resort to Tinder or Bumble.

So stop dating that guy who abused you. Stop looking for love on websites where commitment phobics look for hook up buddies. Stop hanging around with someone who makes you his side chick.

Identify the things you love about him. List it on a sticky note. Hang it on your mirror. This will remind you that these are the qualities you adore. These are the things that you should train yourself to excel in.

When you stop looking for them in others, you will start looking for them inside you. There is no harm in being old school and waiting for love to come to you instead of trying to find it at a bar or club. Halt. Don’t rush.

We have a long way to go, many paths of life are yet to be discovered so live on with the hope of every path taking you to a better destination each time. We have big dreams, big enough to scare us. But only with belief and trust, will these dreams become realities.

 

By Sushmita Roy

Sushmita Roy is a Campus Clipper intern and a junior at NYU majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Her research interests includes immigration, human interest stories and social psychology. When she’s not studying, Sushmita enjoys catching up with friends, binge watching TV shows and cooking for anyone and everyone. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

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Encouraging Positive Talk and Confidence in Your Friend Group

Sunday, July 23rd, 2017

“Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” There’s been a fair amount of research on how people are affected by their environments, and that largely means how they’re affected by the people with whom they interact. Have you ever noticed a friend of yours start using a phrase you use? Have you picked up certain habits from your friends? You’ll probably be hyper-aware of it after reading this! Some even argue that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Much of what I’ve read on this subject warns about the influence of toxic people and emotional vampires, like this cautionary article from https://medium.com. A lot of these self-help articles advise readers to rid themselves of friends and acquaintances who just aren’t feeding their lives in a positive way. I’m not disputing that advice. Cutting ties with draining people is important for your overall wellbeing. But if you’re influenced by the people around you, there’s also a lot you can do in turn to be a positive influence on them—and ultimately that’s beneficial for everyone.

https://twitter.com/mathsnsw

https://twitter.com/mathsnsw

Negativity doesn’t just come in the form of explicit rudeness or friends who deliberately put you down. Some of our most supportive, funny, valuable friends can unintentionally and indirectly propagate feelings of self-criticism and negativity by the way they talk to and about themselves. Author Mark Manson writes a lot about how we measure worth. Take this article for instance (it’s a short read): https://markmanson.net/how-we-judge-others. His logic is that the way we judge others is also how we judge ourselves. In his words, the yardstick by which we measure our own worth is also the yardstick by which we measure the worth of others. Often we aren’t conscious of how exactly we measure worth, but Manson points out that we can choose to be conscious, and from there we can choose our yardsticks. So if you obsess over your grades, chances are you also judge your friends by how high their GPAs are. If you have a friend who is constantly worrying about her appearance, you can deduce that her primary measuring stick is attractiveness. Most likely without meaning to, that friend then judges other people by their attractiveness. By “judging,” I mean ascribing worth or value.

https://me.me/

https://me.me/

These behaviors can wear on us. If someone close to you obsesses over their physique and level of fitness, it’s hard not to wonder how they view and judge your body too. I urge you to point our negative behaviors that you see in your friends and encourage them to be kinder to themselves. For example, I used to have a hard time taking compliments; I always felt like accepting them meant I was cocky. In response, I would make self-deprecating comments, finding faults in myself to counteract anything positive. Eventually, when I would make these comments one of my friends started scolding me, “Don’t be self-deprecating.” And it wasn’t a playful admonishment either. There was a bit of annoyance and a real sense of chastisement in her tone. I didn’t take offense. On the contrary, her criticism of my own self-criticism brought me to see my comments about myself in a more accurate light: not as politeness, but as an unhealthy habit. I learned to catch myself in those thought patterns, and I learned to accept compliments. And you know what? Compliments feel good! That’s how they’re supposed to feel!

So when you see your friend poking their stomach and saying they feel fat, ask them, “What’s something you like about your body?” When your friend does poorly on a test and says they are stupid, tell them, “You know, you’re really good at ______. Be an example; be gentle with yourself and gentle with your friends. Compliment them, and accept their compliments graciously too. If you admire something, say so. When you’re proud of them, show it. It’s often easier to hold on to the negatives, but you have the power to highlight the positives. If what Business Insider says is true—that you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with—then your positivity has the power to make them more positive. And in the end, that positive energy will feed you too.

 

https://www.theworkher.com

https://www.theworkher.com

By Sofia Lerner


Sofia Lerner is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English as a senior at NYU. Passionate about literature, dance, and wellness, Sofia aspires to help the arts thrive and help others pursue healthy lifestyles. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The Importance of Friendship

Wednesday, July 19th, 2017
Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

 

Last September when my friend Maghan walked into my new apartment for the first time, tears welled up in her eyes. “It’s so lonely,” she said, overwhelmed by the pure adultness of the empty white walls and Ikea furniture. Annoyed and uncomprehending, I pushed her through the remaining 24 feet of the apartment to the window where my bed sat. “It’s not lonely. It’s perfect. And look I even have a real New York City fire escape.”

Today though, I know what she means. Summer in New York is much different than the school year. The city itself seems to sweat on even the mildest of days, the streets are crawling with tourists who wander aimlessly into your path, and all traces of college life disappear. As I sit on my real New York City fire escape, the people below are unfamiliar and my thoughts drift to faces I do know, some who are in New York and some who are not, some who I’ve seen recently and some who I haven’t. Regardless of distance and time, real life isolates me on this fire escape and loneliness creeps in as jobs, bills, and adult responsibility seem to push everyone separate ways. I feel like it didn’t used to be this way. Summers between high school were filled with constant contact and group messages, day plans and night plans and weekend plans, part time jobs and the comfort of your family home at the end of the day. Maybe I wasn’t quite prepared to be one of 8.5 million people living and working in New York City this summer.

Academic and professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen says in her book You’re the Only One I Can Tell, “Knowing that somewhere in the world there is someone who cares what you wore, an insignificant detail of your life that would seem unimportant to anyone else, makes you feel more connected to that person and less alone in the world.” This small action of sharing is capable of piercing distance and time, wiping out loneliness, and reinstating the comfort of someone else’s joys and sorrows.

The other night, my best friend and I met up with a classmate we hadn’t seen since school got out in May. During the school year, the three of us talked often and saw each other daily in class, but it had been two months since we’d all been in the same room. The conversation that night was a breath of fresh air, air that you can’t get in a city sitting alone in your room. Air that might even be hard to find in the countryside. Each breath carried new laughter and love, new stories to be shared, new heartbreaks to be healed, new plans to be made as we all felt a sense of relief from the summer’s overbearing humidity. There is nothing better in the world than long conversations that flow endlessly and seamlessly. Even as we grow up, even as we drift apart, even as we get heavy work schedules and full time jobs, even as new people in our lives come and go, it will always be hard to feel completely alone if you can make the effort to keep up friendships and conversations.

A relationship that can withstand crowds of people, state or country borders, and days and weeks of not seeing each other is a strong one. Slowly I am learning that the bond is there even if they are physically not. So next time I find myself sitting on my fire escape, reminiscing the days when making friends was more important than making money and building my resume, I’ll remind myself that although there might be a thousand people between me and the next familiar face, the familiar face is the one that matters.


By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. Check out her Instagram for more witty and heartfelt content on her life. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 


 

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College Hookup Culture

Thursday, July 13th, 2017

   

My Profile Picture on Tinder for a Small While

My Profile Picture on Tinder for a Small While

    College hookup culture is weird, sometimes rewarding, and occasionally sketchy. Generally speaking, hookups for single people develop in two primary ways: either through a platform for meeting other single people or through circumstance. In terms of platforms, I speak digitally of apps like Tinder and non-digitally of the bar, club, and party scenes. Of course, a great many people who use these platforms are not looking for prospective romantic escapades. However, a great many also use these platforms in order to have hookups or long-term relationships. And then, there are people like me who unwittingly fall victim to “dating” platforms and/or circumstance. In any case, I will avoid speaking on this topic too specifically, rather opting to speak in broader terms, as this is a vast and personal subject.

    Since move-in day of college, I developed a number of casual relationships with people I knew circumstantially. Whether these were people from my hall or a shared class or whatever else is of no real importance. Instead, what is important is that I had non-committal relations with people whom I could not avoid once one of us had chosen to discontinue the relations. I did not realize the degree of obsession that was brought out in some people with whom I stopped hooking up. While in certain cases, casual relationships ended calmly, I have had my fair share of being yelled at and pleaded with by past partners. The valuable lesson I took out of these experiences was that if I did not see potential for transforming a non-committed relationship into a committed one, then I should not have entered the relationship from the start. It appeared that most of my hookups were vacuous and led to more awkward headaches then they were worth.

    Then there was going to bars, clubs, and parties whereupon many people I know found romantic interests and one-time hookups. Since I can only point to a few occasions of romantic encounters out of personal experience, I instead will explain the experiences of people I know who are more well-versed in this culture. For instance, I have one friend who would bar hop until they found someone who would be interested in a one-night frolic and then would never contact them again. Unlike me, this friend is completely content with this type of love life since they are comfortable in this mode of romance. Still, I have another friend who gave up dating entirely after becoming so disenchanted with the emotional volatility of the relationships he formed with people he met at parties and clubs. It is hard to tell if one should participate in hookup culture, as the results of college hookup culture are often unexpected. Finding out whether hookup culture is worth it often comes down to discovering personal preferences via trial and error.

    As for Tinder, I made an account for networking with photographers but soon became interested in its dating potential after finding that Tinder eliminates many of the problems I had with running into spurned lovers and provides clarity as to the motivations of its users. To even use Tinder in the first place is most likely an indication that an individual is seeking a romantic relationship, whether it be serious or not serious. Plus, it was quite easy to manufacture an appealing way of constructing the aesthetic of my Tinder profile and messaging other users. Beyond that, dating through Tinder is pretty similar to other forms of dating, except that Tinder dates are typically being more straightforward than other types. Quite truthfully, after a while, Tinder became vacuous too. After a certain point, I had too many bizarre dates with bizarre people to the point where I wanted something more long-term. That is when I found my girlfriend on Tinder. And I have been happily committed ever since. Funny enough, even though I have discontinued my personal use of Tinder, I advise a good many friends on how to construct stellar Tinder profiles.

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.  

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Academic Relationships

Thursday, July 13th, 2017
flag

NYU Flag Outside of the Lipton Residential Hall

It's good to have friends to carry you through finals

It’s good to have friends to carry you through finals

            Beyond having a primary friend group, cultivating ancillary relationships is beneficial for one’s time in college and outside of it. Of large importance is the relationship one shares with peers and professors within shared academic contexts. From a networking standpoint, the connections made with professors and other students from one’s classes can hold professional significance in the future. From a more present-oriented perspective, those connections can be the difference between one doing poorly in their classes and one succeeding.

            Even though a student can be incredibly gifted academically, if they do not know how to be likeable in the eyes of their professors, then they may find that their classes are more difficult than they need to be and that their career prospects might be more restricted. The proverb, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” proves especially true regarding having healthy relationships with professors. I remember in my first semester at NYU having a professor whom I strongly disliked. The professor did not allow for open discussion, opting instead to filter every discussion through themselves and to disregard students with whom they disagreed. It seemed that they were also very openly critical in papers and class discussions about any student who questioned this system. Despite disliking that professor, I never made it readily apparent that I felt this way. By the end of the semester, the professor loved me because I showed them kindness and attentiveness, while other students had given up on the class.  This same professor told me that if I would ever need a letter of recommendation, I should not hesitate to ask. In this way, I made myself less of a target for harsh grading and allowed professor’s status to serve to my benefit. The same rule of kindness and attentiveness can apply to teachers one genuinely likes (most of my professors at NYU), the only difference being that the relationship in these cases is easier and more genuine. 

            As for peers, it is not necessary to be friends with them much outside of the academic context to still reap the benefits of an academic relationship. Sure, forming studying groups can be especially helpful for reviewing material and covering gaps in knowledge before exams, but there are greater benefits to having friends in class. For core classes, many students are not as interested in the subject matter as much as they will be when they take more self-directed, specialized courses later in their academic career. Core classes provide a helpful platform for students to network with students from a broader range of interests than specialized courses do, since every student usually must complete certain core requirements to complete their major. It is then possible under such circumstances that a student may find themselves in a class with both science and humanities majors. By forming symbiotic in-class relationships with other students possessing diverse interests, one may find connections that could inevitably benefit them outside of college, when their career could benefit from the help of someone from a different discipline entirely. For instance, a computer science major could benefit from the help of someone in finance when calculating the costs for a tech startup down the road. Who knows, some of the friends one may find in such classes could also develop into relationships beyond the academic sphere.

            For more specialized courses, one may use such courses as grounds for honing their craft with other like-minded individuals. In my case, I have been taking workshop classes in creative writing to enhance my poetry. In this environment, I have used classroom discussions as grounds to both learn how to enhance my art and provide new insight on the work of others. In the future, some of the people with whom I shared such classes could help me in developing and editing my future work. What’s more, those same people could become partners in collaborative artistic projects. Yet, if I never made the effort to reach out to my peers, I would not have the same opportunities that I have now.  

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Buy Yourself Flowers (Why You Should Plan Dates With Yourself)

Saturday, July 8th, 2017

You are your own main squeeze. Your relationship with yourself is the primary relationship you will have over the course of your life. People love to stress, “You must have a solid relationship with yourself to be capable of developing meaningful relationships with other other people.”And of course, they are right; you cannot pour from an empty cup. But that goes for everything else too, not just connections with other people. Your relationship with yourself informs how you tackle opportunities, handle challenges, approach work and play, and interpret the world you inhabit, because all of these things are tied to your sense of worth and self esteem. If that cup is empty, what will you be able to pour into your pursuits and interests? Your relationship with yourself is also the only one you are unequivocally guaranteed for your whole life, so you must enjoy spending time with yourself. If you can do that, you know someone will always be there to support and guide you when times are tough, and that someone is you. It means having someone to hang out with, whose company you enjoy. It means, in this big world where it’s easy to feel disconnected and alone—especially in New York—never being truly alone.

A few years ago I started buying myself flowers when I was feeling really down or something really big and exciting happened. I realized I didn’t need a guy to buy me flowers. I could go out to dinner alone. I could take walks by the river at sunset and sit in cafés and wander in bookstores. I could think of dates I’d want to go on and then just go do those things myself. And you know what happened? I got things done. I met some remarkable people. I grew exponentially. I flourished.

Self care, in the way we often talk about it, is a luxury. Spare cash for Lush bath bombs and spare time for people working 3 jobs—these are luxuries that many people don’t have. But dates don’t have to be constant, and planning them doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. The goal is simply to create an experience now and then that makes you feel refreshed, loved, and worthy. So hang out with yourself; get to know yourself really, really freaking well. Show yourself some TLC. After all, you’re the person you’re stuck with till the end!

If you’re having trouble coming up with solo date ideas, here are some suggestions:

Make Yourself a Picnic to Enjoy by the Hudson River

Sunshine.  Soft grass. View of the water. Skyline. Benches. Need I say more?

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.com

Take a Candlelit Bubble Bath

This is easier if you’re in an apartment, since dorms don’t allow incendiary objects. The Kmart at Astor Place has a selection of cheap candles. You can also find some pretty reasonable ones at Michaels, or if you’re feeling a tad more extravagant, check out the yummy smells at one the many Ricky’s NYC stores. If you’re in a dorm, the right playlist will soothe your ears and help create the mood.

Smell the Flowers… Or Perfume
Speaking of smells, here’s one of my favorite pick-me-ups for when I’m down. Grab some fresh coffee beans (not required, but they add a nice touch), and head to Sephora. Indulge in smelling all the glorious scents, and take a whiff of the coffee beans between smells to clear your olfactory palate.

Visit the Botanical Garden at Prospect Heights

Admission is typically $15, but if you bring your ID it’s only $8 for students. The Brooklyn Botanic Garden website has a number of resources and information on events and activities, including a list of what is currently in bloom: https://www.bbg.org/bloom

https://www.nycgo.com/

https://www.nycgo.com/

Check Out a Museum

When you’re by yourself, you can stay for as long as you want or leave as soon as your feet get tired. No need to try and impress anyone with interpretations of artwork. Oh, and for students, they’re nearly all free. Hello Whitney, MoMA, and Met, to name a few.

http://whitney.org/

http://whitney.org/

Take in a Literary Reading

There are countless places in NYC to hear writers share their work. Check out KGB Bar in the East Village for a reading! Monday is poetry night, and if fiction is more your speed, stop in on a Sunday. See you there!

https://www.timeout.com

https://www.timeout.co

By Sofia Lerner

Sofia Lerner is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English as a senior at NYU. Passionate about literature, dance, and wellness, Sofia aspires to help the arts thrive and help others pursue healthy lifestyles. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.


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Finding Your People

Saturday, July 8th, 2017

 

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

College undoubtedly brings change. Life before college is largely different from life in higher education.  Post-secondary education brings a new set of challenges that provide opportunity for personal growth and emergence into the adult world. Though many challenges exist for the incoming college student, my primary focus is the examination of relationships in college, as I have a great deal of experience in this area. And while I cannot speak to the experiences of all students in college, I do know that my account of navigating relationships during my first year at NYU can provide useful reference for any college student.

Before I went to New York City for college, I lived in a place called Snellville, Georgia. Growing up in Georgia, I had a hard time finding friends with whom I could have meaningful conversations. Most of the friends I made in Georgia were formed more out of circumstance than choice, since I was more concerned about fitting in socially than finding friends that would help me develop as a person. As a result, I had a lot of different friends before college, but very few seemed to excite and invigorate in the way I desired.

By contrast, the friends I made after moving to New York City are some of the most interesting and special people I have met in my entire life. While they are all different from me in some ways, all my closest friends in New York City have a common passion for taking advantage of the opportunities life offers and an eagerness to delve beyond surface-level conversations. How did I find these people? I simply made the decision to choose my friends based on who excited me, as opposed to letting friendships develop merely out of coincidence. Whenever I met someone who excited me, I did everything in my power to develop a friendship with them.  Still, sometimes, the ones who excited me were also the ones who intimidated me. It took some courage to approach and pursue friendships with people who intimidated me, but the people who intimidated me were intimidating because they possessed something that I did not have or understand. To access the immense value of such people, I dedicated myself to not let fear get in the way of forming life-changing friendships.

To solidify the friendships I desired, I made sure to show a genuine interest in those whom I wanted to know more closely. I took time out of my schedule to adventure the city with newfound friends and let them know why they mattered to me. In doing so, I showed them why I should matter in their lives, as my investment in them indicated that I could be there in whatever supportive capacity they may need in the future. So, as I let new friends into my life, I spoke into their lives, representing my honest self, since I did not want to make friends with those who did not accept me for who I am.

To solidify such friendships, I had to make emotional room for my friends to influence my life. Indeed, it is quite a scary thing to be so emotionally vulnerable to other people.  In some cases, a few people with whom I shared my vulnerabilities used those vulnerabilities to hurt me later down the road.  However, such negative experiences should not dampen the pursuit of deep and honest communication with others. Rather, the negative experiences were a means to inform me of the signs that indicate a disloyal friend.

At the end of the day, I know that I’m not perfect. I need other people around me to open my eyes to different perspectives about the world, and my place in it. Every person is limited in their capacity to understand life. Yet, by sharing friendships with tremendous people, one can get a glimpse into a larger world of possibility and have support through times of hardship. After finding my closest friends, my squad, I noticed that an incredible burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Before finding my people, college frightened me. The start of college marked the first time in my life that I had to independently endure responsibility. After creating meaningful friendships though, I have taken immense comfort in knowing that I have a family in college with whom I can experience anything and find encouragement.

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

 

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How To Lose a Roommate in 4 Months

Wednesday, July 5th, 2017

College roommates are tricky, especially in New York where space is limited, buildings are old, and once you’re off campus you’re living in a real world environment with real adults. As I approach 2 years in New York, I look back on all 4 of my roommates and wonder where it went wrong and where it went right.

 

1. Rooms Don’t Clean Themselves

As cool as it would be to sing a little tune and watch the cockroaches scattered about your apartment team up to tidy up à la Enchanted, this has yet to happen to me and boy have I tried. Freshman year, the cleaning in my suite was wistful thinking. Piles of dishes in the sink and beyond sported food remnants caked on like it had grown there. The stench was rivaled only by the trash, which filled every empty trash-looking container we had. A pile of unclaimed broken glass lasted over a week in a corner. The K-Mart Brand Swiffer was the only thing not dirty, it stood untouched next to the kitchen as a woeful reminder. I don’t really blame our suite of six girls – we were busier than ever, more independent than ever, and I guess more content to live in filth than I ever will be again. Early on we all claimed ourselves as clean people and concluded that there was no further need to discuss how we were going to keep each other honest and it spiraled from there. So my advice to you? Set up expectations and a cleaning schedule. Go buy cleaning supplies before you need them. And though we all have that laundry chair, just make sure there isn’t rotting food under all those clothes.

 

2. Talk in Person

The digital age makes communication much more accessible, but when it come to the person sleeping in the same room as you, it’s best to address things about your shared living space in your shared living space. Sure the occasional “Can you make sure my straightener is off?” isn’t going to do you any harm. But when you are sitting 12 feet from each other all afternoon, you shouldn’t receive a text about how they would prefer if you didn’t have people over on Wednesdays 2 minutes after you walk out the door. As someone who spent a semester living with that person, I would find myself falling into a trap of replying to these long texts about things that made her uncomfortable instead of bringing it up face to face. Learning to stand up for yourself or addressing a situation in person can be hard, but it’s always the best route to go. Otherwise, four months into living with someone you’ll get a text as you walk out the door saying that this living situation is no longer working for them, and you never see them again.

 

3. You Deserve Your Space Too

Maybe you’ve been graced with the perfect roommate whose schedule and friends fit perfectly with yours. I was not that lucky. One of my roommates was so adamant about never having people over to our apartment that on the occasional Saturday I did, she’d shut herself in her room despite my attempts to be friendly and socialize. There’s a difference between being a good roommate and a huge pushover. As much as I wanted to respect her space, I also felt I deserved to hang out in my own apartment every once in a while. Of course, there are times where it’s okay to request space from your roommate and all their friends, as long as this isn’t 100% of the time. It would have been unrealistic for me to be paying for an apartment that I was never in because my roommate didn’t allow people over. Living the early 20s adult life is all about learning to compromise and respect peoples living spaces on both sides.

 

4. Make a Friend

After you’ve sorted through the kinks of living with someone, it’s important to think about how you get along as people. A roommate can be just some person you share a living space with, or they can be someone you think of as a part of your home. Despite your own busy life, don’t forget to take a moment to talk to your roommate at the end of the day or even make plans with them every once in a while. The person you’re living with can have a drastic effect on how comfortable you are in your own home, and friendly conversation can bring things to a whole different level.

 

Looking for a way to get to know your new roomie? Have a Spa Day at IL Girasole! Whether it’s mani pedis before brunch or facials before a Friday night out, with your Campus Clipper coupon and Student ID you can get 15% all the time on any of their services.

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

 


By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. Check out her Instagram for more witty and heartfelt content on her life. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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My Mom, The Survivor

Sunday, June 25th, 2017
Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

 

“I don’t want to be pitied” she said, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. A few short months ago her hair was the shoulder-length layered and highlighted style that many of the Mom’s around town sported as they rushed to and from soccer practices, grocery stores, and jobs. Now there was nothing there but a feathery fuzz like the down of a baby bird gently hugging her bare scalp. She would say that she looked in the mirror and saw a cancer patient. But I could only see someone with a determination to look like anything but, and who was succeeding.

Decisively, she put the wig she was holding in one hand firmly onto her head and grabbed her car keys. “I don’t want to be pitied” she reaffirmed, mostly talking to my Dad who had reminded her that she was beautiful bald. “I think the wig looks good” I reassured her as I watched her march out the door to conquer her fear of being in public.

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

My Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer over a year ago in May, and even as I write this truth, it still feels like the words are void of meaning. For those of you who don’t know me, this story has a happy ending full of life lessons and strengthened bonds. But the beginning will always be hard. At first I didn’t know how to process the realization that something this drastic was out of my hands. Usually, when little crises affect my life I’m strong willed and quick witted, and the problem is gone almost as quickly as it began. I had no precedent for how to act as you watch your Mom get sick. And if I could go back to last summer, there are a million little things I would do differently.

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

My Mom on the other hand, figured it out pretty early on. And though chemo had its days and took its toll, the second she felt better she jumped at the chance to live as normal a life as possible. When you ask her how she did it, she always breaks into a grin and begins to tell story after story of how supportive all the people in her life have been. Her friends from all parts of her life came together to bring her post-chemo gifts every week. I did the grocery shopping and helped out with her business. My dad went to every doctor’s appointment he could and my sister accompanied her to chemo. My grandmother called her everyday and would drive her to treatments, her sisters checked in often. Even friends across the country managed to find ways to bring a smile to her face, sending random supportive texts or even fruit baskets from Colorado! And from this cocoon of support, as treatments piled up and her body began to fight back against her good spirits, she never gave up hope.

My Photo

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Then it was September and school started again. My life in New York did not reflect what I felt like the life of a daughter supporting her sick mom should look like. Over the summer we had learned as a family that our relationships were what supported us even more than we could have ever imagined. And suddenly, I could no longer be there every day to talk with my Mom and help around the house. I felt guilty that all those people who couldn’t love my Mom nearly as much as I did were going to be closer to her physically and emotionally as she continued her battle. And while she was spending most of her days getting poison pumped through her veins, I was in New York City, happy, healthy, and far from home. So I looked for little ways to support her.

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Freshman year, all my Mom had ever wanted was to know everything about my life every second of every day. Obviously this request to me seemed completely unreasonable and even when she tried to bargain it down to most things about my life most seconds of most days, I would claim my independence and retort that I’d talk to her when I had time. But now, with her sick at home, I realized that if that’s what she wanted – a little piece of me everyday – I would happily manage. 

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

Image Credit: Caroline Flynn

My family wore these Hope rings everyday to remind us all that things were going to turn out okay, and it seemed like the perfect way to stay connected and supportive of my Mom. Though to the naked eye these pictures may look like nothing more than a diary of what I had for dinner and who I might have seen that day, to my Mom these pictures were a window into my world. Since her treatment ended in February, my Mom and I are closer than ever. To me this means that we fight just enough for it to feel like a mother-daughter relationship, and the rest of the time we’re friends. As adult life becomes an increasing part of my reality, her guidance and support is something I am thankful for everyday. And though her hair is getting longer and the clutter of breast-cancer-pink is slowly disappearing from the house, I can still look at her and remember how she looked with cancer: strong and always moving forward.

 


By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. Check out her Instagram for more witty and heartfelt content on her life. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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How To Make Friends

Tuesday, June 13th, 2017

 

Image Credit: www.instagram.com/thecarolineflynn/

Image Credit: www.instagram.com/thecarolineflynn/

 

You’ve done it. You’ve mastered eating at the dining hall alone, finding your way around without relying on other people, and taking your own notes in class and remembering all the homework. You don’t just walk through the city streets with a confident and independent air, you jaywalk out into the open road, fearlessly taking on whatever the taxicabs have coming. And now, it’s time. Time for the next step. Time to text the classmate you’ve been crushing on in Writing for College. Time to tell your roommates you actually hate their friends and this weekend you’ll make your own plans. Time to put down the high school group message and talk to your budding friends here face-to-face.

I know it’s not easy. Thankfully, most people show up to college for the first time in the same boat as you, knowing practically no one. If you can keep this in mind, then you are on your way to creating some of the best and longest lasting friendships you’ve ever had. Here are a few more tips to get you started.

 

1. Choose Your Victim

I know you know exactly who you’d be best friends with if you could. The dream friend. That person in class who says what you’re thinking. When they DJ at a party your playlists are specifically similar. And what’s that? They also plan their meals around which dining hall is offering the most carbs? Wow. A match made in heaven. Be careful, though. Sometimes you think your victim friend will be this one person and it turns out you just have a huge girl crush on them and you will never actually see yourself on their level. This will be fun but will not work out (totally not speaking from experience…). Or maybe you think your victim might as well be that kid you had lunch with a few times when no one else was free. NO. Go for gold. Friends are important people and you must be extremely picky when choosing a victim. (But remember, be extremely nice. To everyone. Regardless of their friend-level to you. And also be nice to yourself when choosing your friends.)

 

2. The Millennial Step

25 years ago when your parents were in school they would have to skip straight to Step 3. Luckily, we have more options. Once you have your victim, stalk them thoroughly on every social media account they own. Make careful note of your mutual friends on Facebook. If their Instagram is blocked, talk to them about something trivial in class for long enough so that when you request to follow them 3 hours and 41 minutes later it seems totally casual. During this same conversation, it’s vital that you also get their Snapchat and phone number. This way you can see who your competition is and when they are alone or have no plans. This is when you will strike.

(You can of course skip this step if you think social media, oversharing, and instant access to information are ruining our generation’s communication skills along with much of the world.)

 

3. Make Plans

Ok, so you’ve laid all the ground work. Now it’s time to make your move. Invite your Best-Friend-To-Be to a casual lunch or late night snack. And much like dating, be prepared to ask them about themselves! Get them talking and your conversation will run all night long. If you need some icebreakers, here are a few to get you started.

  • A time you got lost in NYC/the subway broke down/Uber failed you
  • Your recent Netflix Binge
  • Any story about a bad Ex
  • Any story about a bad roommate

 

4. Sunlight & Water

Congratulations! You put yourself out there! Call your Mom, give yourself a high five, and continue to cultivate this new connection. Try some cool restaurants in the area, go to a museum, treat yourself to the spa, and above all use your Campus Clipper coupons to save you and your new friend money. Suddenly, New York City won’t seem quite as big with someone who is equally as lost as you by your side. And you’ll find that as you begin to get one good friendship under your belt, others will fall into place too.

 

Where are you going to go with these new friends? Well you could try the Brazen Fox, a great restaurant right near Union Square serving delicious American Fare and cold drinks. This two story restaurant is charming and well-priced with some cool wall décor you’ll want to see for yourself.  And don’t forget to use your Campus Clipper Coupon and get 10% off of your meal!

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

 


 

By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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